Does Christian remarriage effect eternal salvation?


Last year I wrote a post showing why becoming a believer and follower of Jesus Christ frees people to remarry without being adulterous. That post led to a natural question; can a believing Christian who was born again before her divorce remarry without being adulterous?

In this post I will consider how believers glorify God by being sanctified. What does sanctification look like in marriage and how can divorced Christians be sanctified for God’s glory? To answer this I look at the relationship between the law of God on adultery, the justice of God for sin in the death of Christ and the wisdom of God in marriage relationships in Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians. To see how these three relate in our thinking see eight biblical personality types.

The law of God on adultery.

The term adultery has a wide semantic range in scripture:
– God’s covenant people are adulterous when worshipping other gods (Jer 3:6-9).
– in the same way, adultery on a human level is to have extra-marital sex whilst in a covenantal marriage relationship (John 8:3-4).
– Jesus goes further in the sermon on the mount and applies the term adultery to sexual union and remarriage after divorce (Matt 5:31-32)
– In the same sermon, Jesus extends the term adultery to lust in our hearts (Matt 5:27-30)

How are we to make sense of this with respect to remarriage? Is adultery only when we have sex outside marriage? Is it adultery when Christian divorcees remarry? What about the fact that all men are adulterers, as there is no man who has kept his thoughts perfectly pure since his wedding day?

The way Paul uses the term adultery in 1 Corinthians 6 is in relation to extra marital sex. “Each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband and they should both satisfy the others needs sexually (1 Corinthians 7:2ff)” The baby Corinthian Christians were engaged in all forms of actual sexual depravity with multiple partners. Paul’s argument against this sexual sin sets two groups of people in contrast to each other. First, non-Christians who sin in various ways because they have no knowledge of Christ (the sexually immoral, idolaters, adulterers, two kinds of male homosexual practitioners and so on 1 Cor 6:9-10) and who will not inherit the kingdom of God. Second, Christians who have been washed, sanctified, justified, made right before God in Christ (1 Cor 6:11). Christians are to behave differently from others because they have been made clean and pure in God’s sight through sanctifying faith in Christ. Believers are pure and so they should want to remain pure (for a fuller explanation of this see 25 benefits of faith union with Christ and my post on how and why Christians can avoid the use of pornography: For men only). The believer’s motivation for sexual purity begins with his status as one made pure and clean by Christ’s death for sin.

The justice of God and the death of Christ on the cross.

For the believer, there is no sin which can undo the work of Christ. Can remarriage effect eternal salvation? No! Jesus died for all sins! The question about remarriage must be confined to the sanctification of the believer which leads ultimately to the glory of God.

The question which arises from this is therefore: does remarriage after divorce make a Christian impure? On the one hand, no, nothing can make us impure in a why which affects our eternal salvation. Christ has already sanctified the one who knows their flawed sinfulness and has found Christ as Saviour. Christ’s death for our sin even takes the pressure off being correct in difficult areas of theology. To think that remarriage will put my eternal salvation at risk undermines the completed work of Christ on the cross and makes salvation dependent on my theological and legal performance. We must confess that the theological conclusion we come to after serious thought, study, prayer and consultation might be wrong but being wrong does not nullify salvation. The Corinthians had grasped this truth with both hands, justification by faith in Christ without works means my eternity is secure, it was their conclusion for the present that was wrong when they said “all things are lawful for me” 1 Cor 6:12.
The question of remarriage after divorce is not an eternal issue for the born again believer but a question of present sanctification or purity. (see my post on sanctification – spot the difference?). So, does remarrying as a divorced born again believer reduce my present sanctification or not? Will remarriage lead to God being glorified or not?

On the one hand there is the law of God on adultery. On the other hand the wisdom of God as we live for his glory.

The law of God on adultery.

At this point, I think we need to be careful not to conflate what Jesus says in Matthew 5 and Mark 9 and 10 with what Paul writes in 1 Corinthians. The laws set out by Christ show the legal standards of God are beyond reach for salvation. No man can have a perfectly pure thought life. Impure thoughts condemn us before God as adulterers. We need a Saviour. We can only be saved from hell through faith in Christ. In both Mark’s gospel and Matthew, the sections on Jesus’ teaching on the law, which is impossible to keep by sinful humans, are immediately followed by events where Christ as held out as Saviour (the faith of the centurion and the rich man “what is impossible for men is possible for God.”)

We should attain to the standards which Christ sets out, not for our salvation but for the glory of God (1 Cor 10:31). So, if remarriage after divorce for a believing Christian is not an issue of eternal salvation, then how can the divorcee glorify God? Is it by keeping a law on remarriage or by wisdom or both?

When Paul discusses marriage in 1 Corinthians 6 ans 7 and tells the church that “Each man should have his own wife and each woman her own husband and they should both satisfy the others needs sexually (1 Corinthians 7:2ff)” does he mean one man and one woman for life, as Jesus teaches in Mark 10 from the creation ordinance or one man and one woman at a time (i.e. if sin destroys a marriage can the Christian remarry?)

It is clear that Paul’s primary concern is to ensure that whatever we do as Christians brings glory to God:

  • 1 Corinthians 6:19-20 You are not your own, for you were bought with a price. So glorify God in your body.
  • 1 Corinthians 10:31 whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.

The motivation for glorifying God is that others will come to know Christ as Saviour:

  • 1 Corinthians 10:32-33 Give no offence to Jews or to Greeks or to the church of God, just as I try to please everyone in everything I do, not seeking my own advantage, but that of many, that they may be saved

Paul chose to be single and celibate so that he might glorify God and focus all his energy on mission but he recognises that not everyone has the same gift as he does (1 Cor 7:1-7). So, how do we glorify God as a Christian in areas of sexual morality? Is this a legal requirement or wisdom issue? Do we obey a law on remarriage or act wisely with respect unbelievers? There is a further consideration, which is the strength of faith, weak believers and strong believers might respond differently when faced with the same ethic (i.e. food sacrificed to idols).

In 1 Corinthians 7, Paul goes onto list various ways in which different sorts of people can be wise. If you are someone who cannot be self-controlled, marry (v9); if you are married as Christians, you should not separate (subjunctive), but if you do (presumably because although you are Christians seeking to overcome sin, sometimes in the intimacy of marriage sin wins) the only three imperatives in this section of Paul’s letter is for the wife who separates from her husband to remain single or to reconcile and for the husband not to divorce his wife (continue to support her financially?) (v11).

Paul overarching theology of marriage is that mission is more important. If you can’t reconcile, then don’t remarry, but focus your energy on mission (1 Cor 7:1-2). In a society like Corinth (and the West today) where sexual promiscuity is rife and purity is rare, how can Christians glorify God? By living joyfully for Christ and by being pure. The charge (paraggellow) not to remarry (1 Cor 10) is from God but the language here is softer than a command (epitaghay – 1 Cor 6). All these charges on marriage are situational “I think in view of the present distress that… (1 Cor 7:26ff) ”

In essence, will what I do in staying single or being married bring glory to God in the situation in which I exist? That’s a big question which only each believer can answer. 1 Corinthians 7:17 “Only let each person lead the life that the Lord has assigned to him, and to which God has called him. This is my rule in all the churches.”

The decision to remarry will will depend on lots of questions all concerning the glory of God:
– am I a strong believer whose focus is like Paul’s on mission above all things?
– do my passions to be married burn so strongly that it affects my witness?
– is the person I intend to marry someone who will help me glorify God or not?
– will I make the same mistakes as last time which led to separation and divorce, and so undo God’s glory again?
– am I able to relate well in marriage to the glory of God or am I relationally weak and so likely to fail to glorify God?
– how will my new marriage glorify God in the eyes of my ex, my family, my church, my neighbours?
– what attitudes exist in my culture toward sex and marriage? How will what I do challenge wrongly held assumptions?
– am I doing this selfishly, primarily for my own happiness, of for the glory of God?
– am I doing this foolishly (read Proverbs)?

This list of questions is not exhaustive and lots of serious though must be given to how, as believers, we glorify God our Saviour.

I am tentative about this answer because it focuses only on the believer’s justification (by faith without works), sanctification (eternal in Christ and present by life) and the glory of God. I have avoided discussing the nature of marriage as a covenant or unbreakable spiritual union, because they don’t appear in 1 Corinthians 6 and 7. Paul does not address either of those concepts here and I have avoided conflating Jesus’ teaching with Paul’s.

I welcome comments and discussion to help sharpen this piece of blunt iron.

With love, Neil

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40 Responses to Does Christian remarriage effect eternal salvation?

  1. traci dickerson says:

    Hi Neil, thanks so much.I have been struggling so long with this issue. Please tell me if you know why does John Piper disagree. He says one spouse for life. Pleas help.

    • Alison says:

      Hi, when our Lord refers to “Adam and Eve” he says, in the beginning God made them Male and Female. Why does Jesus refer to Adam and Eve consecutively in the bible?
      One man, and one woman for life and the two will be joined as one! More has to be said about that oneness because it is not only the oneness of the flesh he was talking for!

      God doesn’t say, that a man must leave his woman/wife for his daughter, mother or mother-in-law, neither for another woman, man or pastor. God was talking about the heart! Not to leave from the heart!
      Hence in new testament scripture; “see that no bitter root grows up inside the church that no one misses out on the grace of *god”.
      “if you see the abomination that causes *desolation* standing where it does not belong! Run!”
      Desolation does not belong in those places. The one who is able to save you from desolation will, but will you know him if and when he comes? He who has ears.

      Jesus is the law. “Submit to the authorities established in the land that it may go well with you.” and again, “to maintain justice, love and mercy”.

  2. In regard to holy spirit miracles for divorced couples or broken, unhappily married homes.. if we look at the saints in the old and new testament we generally find no example of this where unhappily married persons were made happy again.. can you name one example? we find many examples of troubled marriages though.. just for a start King David’s, Job’s, Samson, etc., and why was that when so many evangelists, preachers now today claim the opposite.. if you accept Christ as Lord your home, marriage will be better… but for sure this not what Jesus had said..

    “And a man’s foes shall be they of his own household. (Mat 10:36 KJV)

    Few persons here seem to tell the truth.. The truth that Happiness in marriage is not life’s end or goal.. serving Jesus always is.

    You cannot live someone else”s life for them, or have them be what you want them to be, each person tends to live his own life and will give his own account as well for it..

    (Luke 12:15 KJV) And he said unto them, Take heed, and beware of covetousness: for a man’s life consisteth not in the abundance of the things which he possesseth.

    And he that taketh not his cross, and followeth after me, is not worthy of me. (Mat 10:38 KJV)

    Jesus is the source of our life, happiness, desire and not anyone else, a house, or material things.. admit it or not, like it or not.. in Him is our life.

    Now in real life I have seen many persons preach their own views while they lived, until many of them next faced death and where they saw the error of their false teachings often too late.

    What peeves me of is that the number one prayer request or complaint that I have heard for the last 50 years is I am unhappy with my marriage or I am still looking for a good soul mate.. firstly are you really a good person though yourself?

    http://cityocean.wordpress.com/2010/09/03/gifted-by-the-holy-spirit-god-and-jesus/

  3. Ask a divorced Christian (about 50% of the church) how it was for them going through the pain, judgement, by fellow Christians, ignomony and torment, trying to understand Gods word and the numerous and various, some judgemental views of the church. The law is fulfilled in Christ alone, man looks upon the outward appearance God looks upon the heart. When we search our hearts and know His grace abounds in real life situations each divorcee will know that each day is a new day to start afresh and follow Him, married remarried, single, divorced or reconciled. His love His grace and His free gift of salvation abounds!

  4. shashi2009 says:

    The very fact this practice is so common now, I feel refrain to comment.God has blessed me to remain faithful.It is hard to understand another’s pain & agony. But it will be sinful for me to dilute the Word of God or make more strict. The stage was observed by BBC survey team in late 80’s –“Parents see so much on the media & are not able advice children to divide Right from Wrong.”

  5. marinn says:

    I left my husband of 6 years to be with another man I thought I was doing the right thing since a wasn’t in love anymore with my husband . Since living with the guy I left my husband for I met my the next door neighbor she talked to me about god n I recently became a Christian I did know that divorce was in the bible I was thinking about getting a divorce n remerrying but now a don’t know what to do! My question is should I go back to my husband because its seems like I’m living in sin!! Please help me! If a remarry will I be in sin all of my life I sure don’t want to go to hell.

    • marinn says:

      Sorry I didn’t know divorce was in the bible. If I had only what the bible says about marriage I wouldn’t have done what a did :(

    • Gina Bradnam says:

      Marrin, this is what you do honey, first, give your whole life and heart to Jesus, repent, and ask forgiveness of anything you have done wrong (coz all have fallen short of the Glory of God) THEN EXACTLY at that point of your prayer, Jesus wil come into your heart and life and He will make ALL THINGS NEW! He says He forgives our sins as far as the east is from the west, which means YOU may have a brand new fresh start in you life! OK! :) God bless xx PS Let Jesus continue to work in your life for the rest of your life..that is the key <3

  6. catstack says:

    Thank you so much for clarifying this issue. My husband and I were both divorced before remarrying to one another. My husband’s ex wife left him and lived with another man in sin unrepentent for years before he legally divorced her or met and married me. I was defrauded by my ex who pretended to be a believer until I married him and then never walked with God or went to church our whole marriage. He kicked me out, stalked me, and dated other women before I divorced him. After my current husband and I were married for many years our town spread rumors about us that we left our spouses to commit adultery with eachother and get married. That is a lie. Then we were slandered in the church because of the town rumors and the slander followed us church to church so our kids could not even have a church home no matter how hard we look for a place to fellowship. The same person slandered us in my kid’s homeschool group so they could not make any friends in their social clubs or groups. Anyhow what concerned me is there are denominations teaching that if a believer is divorced and remarried they are in an unrepentent state of adultery unless they separate and they will not be saved. I was never taught this in church in any denomination. So I was concerned when I read about it. But the thought of separating and hurting our younger children (as my older kids were hurt in my past divorce) broke my heart. So thank you for clarifying this issue for me. My husband and I are both believers and are happily married and know and love God and want to stay together for life so our children would have a good home and to glorify God. I agree that either you believe we are saved by grace or you don’t. Sadly much of the church does not believe the grace of God covers ALL our sin. There are those who think divorce and remarriage is a worse offense than murder and you disqualify to serve God if you ever did this. This is grievous. What is worse is how it hurts my children.

  7. Ginny says:

    I dont understand any of this :(

  8. Mike says:

    For those of you who are confused, this is actually very easy to understand. Though divorce is a horrible thing and remarriage is the breaking of the marriage covenant from the first marriage, to believe that you would go to hell if remarried undermines the fact that Jesus died once and for all to sanctify all sin.

    Nobody is pure. Only through Christ are we pure. Those who are divorced need to seek purification through Christ the same way a thief, a liar, a murderer, or even someone who drives their car faster than the posted speed limit needs. All of these things are sinful, because we are sinful.

    The sanctification through Christ purifies the believer and can actually use the remarriage for good, rather than condemning it and its participants.

    Divorce and remarriage will NOT send you to Hell. Only disbelief in Christ’s atonement for our sins on the cross and lack of accepting His sacrifice will send you to Hell.

    Thanks for clarifying this, Neil. I struggled with this for a long time as I am my wife’s second husband and Jesus told the Pharisees that the divorced person and the new spouse are both committing adultery.

    It is a beautiful thing to know that I can use this remarriage to glorify God and that the only people attempting to condemn us to Hell are the “Pharisees” in the churches today. That God is still in control and continuing to sanctify us through the blood of Christ and using us for His glory is a beautiful thing. For that, my life and my heart belong to Him in love and gratitude for the rest of my days. I have never loved Jesus more than I do now. You don’t truly love Jesus until you realize how much you need Him and how much He loved you before you even knew Him.

  9. Christine says:

    What about the covenant?. The bible says that if you are both believers, and you divorce your husband/wife and remarry then you both (the new spouse and yourself) will be in adultery. You can’t wake up in the morning and repent of your sin as you are in a covenant which is binding. I am talking about a couple who may just not love each other any more and get divorced, not necessarily for sexual immoral reasons. The covenant will place you in permanent adultery which cant be forgiven as it is binding every day. Repentance means turning away. You cant turn away from the covenant you are in. Adulterous acts can be forgiven if the marriage stays together but getting divorced and remarrying will place that believer in permanent adultery. The bible teaches that all adulterers will go to hell so how do we get around that ? Especially seeing as you cant repent for this adultery as it is a covenant.

    • Mike says:

      “Therefore I say to you, every sin and blasphemy will be forgiven men, but the blasphemy against the Spirit will not be forgiven men.” -Matthew 12:31. Now I ask you to repeat your main point. You can’t repent for WHAT?

      You can absolutely repent for adultery and you will be forgiven. Where does it say in the Bible that a broken covenant makes you bound for Hell? It doesn’t. You’ve been fed hogwash.

      Do you also realize that you contradicted yourself too? “Adulterous acts can be forgiven” was then followed by “all adulterers will go to hell.” Which one is true? They can’t both be true.

      Nobody is arguing in favor of divorce. We all agree it is a horrible thing… but it is not the end of the world. It isn’t enabling a sinful nature. It’s giving hope to those that you are otherwise trying to render hopeless.

      Show me a scripture that says that remarriage places you in permanent adultery. It’s not there. A sin is not continuous. It happens ONCE and then it is over.

      In fact, I challenge you to show me ONE scripture that indicates any of the following:

      1. Remarriage is unforgivable. (Hint: There isn’t one.)
      2. Adultery is a permanent state of sinfulness. (Hint: There isn’t one. It’s a solitary act which breaks a marriage covenant ONCE.)
      3. Adultery is unforgivable. (Hint: There isn’t one.)
      4. Marriage covenants are forever binding no matter the actions of its participants. (Hint: There isn’t one. There are verses that lament the breaking of marriage vows, but that’s all. In fact, the Bible teaches multiple ways in which marriage covenants are broken.)

      Just curious: are you Catholic or Lutheran? I’ve never heard such hateful, condemning teachings except from those places.

      It’s Christians like you that cause the world to hate us and refuse the word of God. You’re not teaching His love. You’re teaching a false version of His condemnation. Shame on you. If we taught the acceptance and forgiveness of Christ and the “come as you are” mentality (which is Biblical, mind you…) more people would want to experience the love of Christ. Instead, you teach anger and condemnation, something that Christ is not about. No wonder we have so many lost souls today. I pray that one day you let God show you His love and not His anger and condemnation.

      • Rod says:

        Interesting Mike……you just went hard on Christine for basically voicing an opinion. we are all hear to discuss and learn, there will be varying opinions and interpretations of the word.. YOU should show more love and patience as a Christian. For the record, I saw no contradiction in the statement made relating to repenting for Adultery by cheating in a relationship vs Adultery by remarrying. There is a difference in “committing a sin” and “living in sin”. My question is this, If covenants can be broken, can God break a covenant with us?

      • Tamara says:

        Sorry Rod, I cannot understand that if the divorce re-marry, and then commit adultery in doing so? Then doesn’t that mean they live in sin? or just can’t participate in the kingdom of god?
        And isn’t that why many married couples put up with crap/violence etc. and don’t get divorced re to not lose out on the kingdom? But you can’t punch your way into heaven, so everyone transgresses! No forgiveness in Blaspheming the holy spirit = isn’t that when people don’t believe the things the holy spirit is saying, even to the temples (meaning us who have received).
        Eg. So if someone tells you that the holy spirit is prompting them to say to you, to Leave! And you don’t! That tells me Esau could not have had the blessing reversed, even though he sought it out with tears. Blaspheme of the Holy Spirit is the crack in our foundations.
        Where I get confused is do antonyms process a legal 33? So, if a legal 33 lives through life in the Father’s name by submission, antonyms have a hard time processing the factors of scripture because how can they. Ezekiel 33. The word is the seed, budded in, flowering growing to produce it’s fruit, who can remove one from the Lord’s hands?

      • Alison says:

        Then why did John the Baptist tell Herod to give his wife back to his brother? Yet, he is the least in the kingdom of heaven?

    • cydney says:

      I am widowed. I have never been divorced. I had many troubles in my marriage, I never stopped loving my husband,

      I do not understand what people are talking about, when they say, “I don’t love you anymore”. Or, “couples stop loving each other”. This generation of people have extremely hardened hearts,and selfish hearts, just like Jesus told us.

      How can you be married to someone and decide you don’t love them anymore? I just don’t understand this mindset, and I am 58 years old. I grew up in the sixties.

  10. Rod says:

    Sorry for the mispelled word

  11. Yan says:

    Hi Neil & all , thanks for your sharing.
    * Can anyone help me on the below remarriage problem??*
    I have a problem which people may feel funny but I have been struggling so long on that.
    In the past, when I was young, I asked my ex-boyfriend to call me wife. I and he then has called each other “husband” and “wife” when we were dating in the past. And, at that time , I really considered him as husband. But, we never seriously talked about marriage.
    In God’s eyes, was we classified as couple already?
    I am worried because I has already married other man.
    Please kindly advise.
    Many thank ^^

    • Tamara says:

      Yan in the old testament, Abraham and Sarah were brought together by God? And did they have a legal marriage?
      When Isaac sent out his servant who prayed on the way, later meeting Rebecca was that the Holy Spirit’s doing? Was the party before or later?
      God is my witness!

  12. Tamara's Pledge says:

    I am so sorry, I am having quite an amount of trouble with this. Since my divorce I have been proposed to three times and I accepted thrice! Yet one thing or another, the laws of nature, like winds, trees etc. keep pulling these men away from me. Worse still, when these men propose -the words they say to me are then followed by the same words my ex-husband used to threaten me with? It is the same spirit. It’s like my ex is using them. And then my ex-husband says he has tools, what is this mortal tools?
    One way, because my ex said he doesn’t want me to ever remarry, or have more children, when I was married to him, I prayed that he gets everything he wants! Stuck.
    Since then, I entered the kingdom as a little girl, and Lord Jesus has a voice and I have to wait for Him because he said, and I quote: “He is not who he says he is. Be ready!”
    I am scared and helpless on this remarriage thing;
    1. John the Baptist said to Herod, that his wife was Herod’s brother’s wife and he had to give her up.
    2. Jesus says to stop sinning or something worse may happen. Not a letter will by any means be deleted or exchanged of the law, and least are those in the kingdom who teach others to do so.

  13. Jon says:

    Okay here is my situation. 19 years ago I married a woman, and it was a second marriage for both of us. both of our first marriage partners had committed adultery against us so we felt that we were freed biblically and it was okay for us to get married. here we are 19 years later and I have moved out 10 months ago we haven’t even slept in the same bed room for 5 months before that. Our marriage has been a shambles for years I never seem to be able to do what she wants me to have tried and tried she wants me to be the head of the house but she won’t allow me to be we argue constantly the children have grown up in this the two oldest have already moved out and our daughter is months away from being 18. my children have even asked me why I continue to stay with the way that I was treated. I finally decided I had lived in the torment long enough and left. I know I had my issues within our marriage just like she did I’m not laying all the blame on her. I even continue to go to the same church until it was so awkward being around her that I was not able to receive anything from the sermons.I finally told the pastor I had to leave there was no way I could stay. I now and just waiting for her to just sign the divorce papers so we can both move on. a month ago at the new church I have been attending I met a woman and we are interested in each other. she knows my divorce is not final yet and we are going to wait until it is before going further in our relationship. my question is since there was no adultery to end this second marriage but there was years of what I would call a mental abuse, we are concerned about the basis our relationship would be built on if it progresses. my soon to be ex and myself are both Christians we just could not find a resolution to our issues becauseshe feels I should conform to what she thinks and I refuse to stay in a situation that could potentially be the same or worse.ever since I have moved out everyone says that I seem to be happier less stressed and more like the person that I used to be. I don’t feel any ties or connection to her anymore. I just want to go on with my life and want to feel that I’m not going to be living in a perpetual state of adultery with anyone in the future that I May have A relationship with. I know there is no reconciliation for my second marriage. I just want to get back to being active in a church and serving like I used to.

    • neilrobbie says:

      Hi Jon

      I’ve approved your post, as you chose to make it public, and I think it will help people to see the sort of situations people like you are in. As with all previous personal posts like yours, I will not reply in public but send you an email.

      Neil

    • Angel says:

      I have been struggling with the question of divorce ever since I was married two years ago. first of all I was not in my right state of mind when I decided to marry my husband because my mom had just died of cancer and I was dealing with other serious issues which caused me to feel serious depression. I got married on a whim , neither one of us were ready in fact w were married in my pastors office we had no rings and I said that I would do my best. I never promised till death do us part. I said that I will do my best and than the pastor asked me if I will trust God for the marriage and I said that I would. I didn’t feel peace in my heart about getting married in the first place. In fact I never even changed my last name or ever registered as being married. me and my husband have really bad communication and hardly any understanding of how to relate to each other. I made a huge mistake. I’m scared to get divorced. I don’t want to go to hell. Someone please help me with this.

      Thank you
      Angel

    • Jennifer Mueller says:

      It’s ok to leave your wife, if she makes you want to leave church altogether and you just can’t meet her expectations of you. But it would be a bad testimony to many people to marry another, especially since you met another woman before finalizing divorce papers with the other one.. It would be a good testimony to actively serve in a church if that’s where your heart is, but not to try and wow another woman. What makes you think you aren’t going to run into the same problems with her if you had unresolvable problems with the first? Good luck!

  14. Jennifer Mueller says:

    My ex and his new woman who talked hin into leaving me, while I was happily married totally destroyed me ever wanting to go back to church. They have no conscience as they attend church every week, get offended at me calling them adulterers. Mt kids went to their wedding that I learned later that they married on my late mother’s birthday. He filed for divorce from me, so he could marry her. I had 2 kids with this man whom I haf loved homeschooled our kids, paid for their Christian schooling, reduced the amount of money that I was legally entitled too, so as to save his and our kids house, and I was the one who wasn’t unfaithful and had to live with my sister and commute hours to work so the kids wouldn’t have to be uprooted. Meanwhile he sold the house and made sure he got custody of the kids, uprooted our daughter to attend a new high school not knowing anyone. I held out for reconciliation, yet he did end up marrying his mistress. Meanwhile, I’m the “bad guy” for hating divorce and the destruction it has caused, and for not calling it an adulterous relationship. Somehow they don’t see it this way and felt it was God’s doing. My question is why are church going Christians ok with this and doing this all in thename of God, yet treating the Christian mother, and in some cases the Christian father of their kids so disrespectfully. Why don’t they have a conscience at all why they are attending xhurch on a regular basis? How do they justify themselves and get offended if someone like me calls it adultery?

    • Jennifer Mueller says:

      Keep in mind I’m bot trying to be a self righteous Pharisee. I’m simply wanting people to own up to their sin by calling it a sin and repent of their ways instead of justifying it and not thinking it is sinful and wrong in the first place.

    • Alison says:

      Sorry Jennifer I was hoping for Good News! Genesis: Satan is craftier than all the wild! Did he get information about your likes and dislikes? How well did satan know you, to do this betrayal? And it was from the beginning! Your Life.
      Later: After his first wife passed on; I saw his first wife run up and hug him, because she was in the Spirit of the Lord, and to my surprise he smiled and said “Who are you?”
      Lord Jesus has overcome all this.

  15. Ellie says:

    Dr. Albert Mohler recently interviewed Dr. Stephen Baskerville.

    Dr. Baskerville is a professor at Patrick Henry College.

    Baskerville: Americans would be very shocked if they knew what was going on in this country under the name of —“no fault divorce.” Most people are unaware of it until they are sucked into it.

    What we call divorce has become essentially a euphemism for the government and social service agencies to invade families—to ruin a spouse who has done nothing wrong; to plunder the spouse for everything they have and they are powerless to avoid any of it when a no fault divorce is pursued against them.

    This huge government “divorce machine” that has grown up in the last four decades around “no fault divorce” needs to be stopped and stopped soon.

    Mohler: In your new book you demonstrate how “no fault divorce” has brought enormous consequences. Can you help spell those out for us? I think an awful lot of Americans, especially those who are younger, aren’t aware of how no fault divorce works.

    The government helps one spouse abandon his family with a mere signature to a piece of paper stating that he and his spouse have irreconcilable differences. He no longer wants to care for his family, so the government releases him with no regard for the rest of the members of that family.

    Baskerville: That’s right. The term “no fault” understates the problem. It really is unilateral divorce—involuntary divorce. It allows one spouse to force divorce on the other without the involuntary spouse having done anything wrong.

    In other words, your spouse can divorce you without you having done anything legally wrong or agreeing to the divorce.

    In fact, it goes further than that. Maggie Gallagher … describes it as the abolition of marriage, and that is really what it is.

    The marriage contract is not in any way legally binding anymore. It can be broken without consequence by one spouse unilaterally—the other spouse has no choice.

    Divorce is simply forced on that spouse. If the wife can’t afford the house, she is throw out.

    Mohler: Let’s just revisit the situation before “no fault divorce.” At that time society privileged marriage as a contract above other contracts because it was understood to be more than a contract.

    Marriage was understood to be the basic building block of civilization. I think that’s what people don’t understand.

    Without marriage being permanent, why would anyone give their daughter away to someone, if that someone can use her, then leave her and the children when he finds someone new?

    No fault divorce allows this to go on everyday. You don’t have to have any cause. One spouse can simply decide that he or she doesn’t want to be married anymore and there is nothing the other spouse can do to prevent the divorce.

    Isn’t that the ultimate issue here?

    Baskerville: That is correct. “No fault divorce” has put the nails in the coffin for marriage.

    Mohler: I’ve been concerned for years about what I’ve called the divorce industrial complex. You really do a great job in your book in demonstrating how there is an entire pernicious economy based upon and encouraging and facilitating divorce and it is huge.

    Baskerville: It is huge, that’s right. And what’s most important about it is this huge divorce machine is government based. It’s not just private entrepreneurs in this case, it is government officials. It’s lawyers, it’s judges and it’s the huge social services bureaucracies … it’s a huge entourage that is not only profiting from divorce, but increasing government power over private lives in very dangerous ways.

    That is why the fight to stop “no fault divorce” is so vicious. A huge industry is profiting from the absolute destruction of families.

    http://www.cadz.net/mdr.html

  16. Ellie says:

    “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery, and the man who marries a divorced woman commits adultery.” –Jesus Christ

    “The Lord has been witness between you and the wife of your youth.” Malachi 2:14

    “A woman is bound to her husband as long as he lives.” 1 Corinthians 7:39

    The bond of marriage ends with death. Romans 7:2-3

    Jesus calls remarriage after a divorce ADULTERY because…

    “A wife is bound to her husband as long as he lives. But if her husband dies, she is free to be married to whom she wishes, only in the Lord.” 1 Corinthians 7:39

    “Let marriage be held in honor among all, and let the marriage bed be undefiled, for God will judge the sexually immoral and adulterous.” Hebrews 13:4

    “For we will all stand before the judgment seat of God.” Romans 14:1

    “Now the works of the flesh are evident, which are: adultery…those who practice such things will not inherit the Kingdom of God.” Galatians 5:19-21

    “A husband must not divorce his wife.” 1 Corinthians 7:11

    “The Lord was witness to the covenant made at your marriage.” Malachi 2:14

    “The Lord God All-Powerful of Israel hates anyone who is cruel enough to divorce his wife.” Malachi 2:16

    Thou shall not commit adultery.” Exodus 20:14

    “The man who commits adultery is an utter fool, for he destroys his own soul.” Proverbs 6:32

    “Adulterers…will not inherit the Kingdom of God.” 1 Corinthians 6:9

    “For example, by law a married woman is bound to her husband as long as he is alive, but if her husband dies, she is released from the law of marriage. So then, if she marries another man while her husband is still alive, she is called an adulteress. But if her husband dies, she is released from that law and is not an adulteress, even though she marries another man.” Romans 7:2-3

    http://www.cadz.net/mdr.html

  17. Ellie says:

    No-Fault Divorce is Institutionalized Evil

    This past week, I awoke one evening and in almost Wilberforce fashion, the Lord seemed to set before me this “one great object”: the abolition of no-fault divorce. Weird! The fact is, this legal practice has wrought untold human suffering and injustice since its establishment in 1969. It is an evil that exists in active opposition to the principles of God’s kingdom. As Christians, we are commissioned to oppose what is evil in the advance of Christ’s kingdom (see Luke 19:13). So the abolition of a policy that has systematically undermined our society’s commitment to the divine plan for the family seems perfectly consistent with the admonition to “seek first the kingdom.”

    Throughout history, Christians have fought against countless social evils from slavery to child labor and these battles inevitably began with a campaign of sustained public persuasion that exposed the hidden evils to a public largely unaware. Similarly, no-fault divorce has become so commonplace that its evil is either obscured or ignored. But the availability of no-fault divorce has served to increase family dissolution at a rate greater than ever before in history; furthermore, it undermines the institution of marriage itself, perhaps more so than any other single factor in history. We would not be standing on the brink of same-sex marriage were it not for the corrosive effect upon marriage-as-an-institution that followed the divorce revolution.

    Constitutional and family law attorney J. Shelby Sharpe says, “No-fault is national catastrophe. Anything which overturns the order or systems of things whereby families are destroyed and the whole of society adversely affected is by definition a catastrophe.”

    You may be surprised to learn that the initial efforts to advance no-fault divorce legislation were underwritten by Hugh Hefner through the Playboy Foundation, which financed an army of young lawyers working to advance these antifamily policies. Let’s see…America’s largest pornographer working to rewrite public policy related to the family? There’s something seriously wrong with this picture! Alfred Kinsey also played an instrumental role in reducing these legal protections by falsely reporting that adultery was commonplace in most marriages. This reduced the stigma associated with adultery and ultimately served as the basis for eliminating all laws against adultery. Hefner and Kinsey both saw marriage as the final barrier to sexual freedom and thus determined to remove its inhibiting influence upon unrestrained sexual activity.

    No-fault divorce is much more than just divorce; it is a legal tyranny that denies the fundamental right of due process to a defendant. Prior to no-fault divorce, the party seeking divorce (plaintiff) was required, by law, to demonstrate cause on the part of the other party (defendant) prior to dissolving the marriage, dividing the family’s assets, and destroying the two-parent structure essential for children. These measures provided strong legal protections—primarily to women and children who might otherwise find themselves abandoned by husbands and fathers who simply sought “greener pastures.” (You might think me overly hard on men here. Granted, both men and women can be guilty of abandoning marriages; however, statistically speaking, women and children are most often the victims.)

    Under the system prior to no-fault divorce, the state was limited in its actions and intrusion into the private affairs of the family except in those cases in which one of the parties committed a legally recognized offense against the other. In the wake of no-fault divorce, the state has been given unprecedented access into and unconstitutional authority over what was previously sacrosanct: the family. Historically, the law regarded the family as a preserve of privacy that was largely off-limits to the government. It was what Supreme Court Justice Byron White (1962–1993) called the “realm of family life, which the state cannot enter.”

    What is most shocking about no-fault divorce is the inherent unconstitutionality of it all, a direct violation of human rights. A retired circuit court judge writes, “To the characterization of no-fault divorce laws as both ungodly and inhumane I would add unconstitutional as well.” In my conversation with attorney J. Shelby Sharpe he was confident that if a case involving no-fault divorce were ever brought before the U.S. Supreme Court it would no doubt be ruled unconstitutional and no-fault divorce abolished!

    One of our most fundamental protections secured by the U.S. Constitution is the right to due process, which secures the right of an individual to be heard regarding issues of life, liberty, or property. This means that no person shall be deprived of life, liberty, property, or of any right granted him by statute, unless the matter involved is first adjudicated or ruled against him at trial.

    No-fault divorce completely usurps the defendant’s constitutional right to due process. In the case of Judith Brumbaugh, author of Judge, Please Don’t Strike That Gavel on My Marriage, with whom I spoke, her husband of twenty years had an adulterous affair, formed a relationship with the other woman, and decided that he no longer wanted to be married. Under the no-fault procedure he was able to file for divorce claiming that their marriage was “irretrievably broken.” Judith contested this claim, hoping to preserve her marriage; however the no-fault procedure ultimately gave her husband and the court the right to deny her due process. She was, in essence, charged with a crime, found guilty, and sentenced without ever being heard. The marriage contract was unilaterally dissolved.

    Judith lost her home, her children, and her husband; she was left nearly destitute from legal expenses and utterly without recourse—which is legally impossible in every other contractual obligation in this country! And yet in the most important contractual obligation in society, under no-fault divorce the plaintiff is able to break his or her contractual obligation without the right of due process being given to the other party in the contract. The defendant’s life can be ruined, her liberty restrained in countless ways, and her property taken away by the courts. I know, and I’m sure you do as well, too many women and children who have suffered similar results.

    This is a travesty of justice that affects more than a million families each and every year, with an annual related cost to taxpayers of more than $48 billion! This cost doesn’t even begin to consider the secondary societal effects of family dissolution upon crime rates, welfare rolls, and the emotional and psychological effects upon the children of divorce. No-fault divorce has created an easy divorce culture, which, according to Maggie Gallagher, an affiliate scholar at the Institute for American Values and a nationally syndicated columnist, “demotes marriage from a binding relation into something best described as cohabitation with insurance benefits.”

    No-fault divorce is a social and legal atrocity that needs to be abolished both for the sake of families and children that have, for too long, been subjected to the tyrannical actions of family courts, and because it has encouraged, through law, radical selfishness on the part of narcissistic, self-indulgent spouses. What must be understood by Christians is that no-fault divorce functions as a direct enemy of the gospel of the kingdom by opposing the in-breaking reign of God and his desires for the family.

    http://www.cadz.net/mdr.html

  18. Julie says:

    Okay here is my story. It is not a good one. I first would like to give you a little back ground of what my home life growing up was like. I was brought up in a home that did not regularly attend church. But I did know about God. As a child I would talk to God when I was scared. When I was about ten or eleven I was baptised in a church i was attending on my own. I’m not sure If I really understood baptism but I’m sure someone at the church tried to explain it to me. I do remember afterwards I did feel clean spiritually. I’m not sure if I had ever invited God in prayer to come into my heart at that point. But I assume he was already there because I would talk to him. I lived in a somewhat unstable home. My father was an acoholic and it was hard to deal with. He was a good provider and was free hearted when others were in need though. At times growing up he took us to church but I could probably count on two hands how many times he took us. Anyway that is how I remember it. My parents didn’t really set any guidelines on me my sister and my brother. I was the youngest of the three of us. For instance my brother was allowed to smoke pot in front of my parents beginning at the age of around fourteen. My brother met a girl and wanted to marry at the age of 16, the girl was 15. My parents did say no. So my brother got the girl pregnant and then went back to my parents and ask again saying she was pregnant so they allowed him to get married. My brother always worked even at that age to support his family. I’m sure he got a lot of help from my parents though. My brother and his wife had two children and were married for several years. Over their years together my brothers drug happen worsened and he eventually became addicted to meth. At the age of 47 years old he died of a massive heart attack. My sister in law his wife had been sick with a horrible disease for several years and died a year later. Needless to say because of my brother’s drug habit their family suffered horribly over the years. And I’m sure it affected his children just as my father’s drinking affected his children and wife. My sister also married very young. She was allowed to start dating a 21 year old man when she was 14years old. The man’s mother worked for my father in his grocery business so my father gave premission since he knew the man’s mother. I assume that was the reason anyway. My sister being young quickly thought that she was in love, their relationship became a sexually relationship. The man smoked pot daily and would not work. They had a rocky relationship and he ended up breaking up with her at one point. My sister of course was heart broken. The man started calling her again and she wanted to start dating him again. At this time she was 17 years old and my father told the man that he could not date her that if he wanted to be with her he would have to marry her. He told him that he was not going to just use her anymore. So that is what happened they got married when she was 17. Five years later she had a daughter by him. He still would not work or take care of his family. My sister was supporting them. He would not even help with watching their daughter. So my sister made the decision to leave him when their daughter was ten months old. She divorced him and never remarried or dated another man. That was thirty years ago. I on the other had am a different story. Maybe not as wise as my sister. When I was 14 I meet the love of my life. He was 15. We met and soon started talking on the phone and meeting places to spend time with each other. After several months our relationship became a sexual one and things kind of went bad from there. We became very possessive of each other and began to have fights. We were way too young for the kind of relationship we had. We dated until I was 17 and he was 18 and then one night we had gotten into this big fight in my bedroom. My mother came in and he was holding me down because he was mad at me for something he was accusing me of doing that I did not do. My mom of course got very upset and made him leave telling him to not come back. I ran after him telling him I loved him and to please not leave. He of course had no choice so I begged him to call me. He said he would but never did. I was so hurt and cried for several days over the lose of him. I started dating a boy that was seen as a bad boy. I was just dating him to fill a void I had. I ended up partying some and drinking. Which is something me and my previous boyfriend did not ever do. One night I drank to much and I had sex with my new boyfriend it was awful. Afterward on the way home I cried and felt so dirty. But you know once you do something like that each time it is easier. So started my second sexual relationship. I was 18 and he was 17. I don’t know where God was in my decision making. I just didn’t involve him. But onced I made a bad decision and felt bad I would usually cry out to God not really asking for forgiveness but crying that I was so unhappy. Well me and this boy were just hanging out one day and decided that we were going to get married. I think in part I wanted to show my exboyfried that someone wanted me even if he didn’t. So we decided that if I got pregnant his parents would sign the papers and let him marry me. So we told his parents that I was pregnant not really knowing if I was or not. Which I was not. We married and let me tell you what I experienced. When I was walking down the aisle I felt this strong pulling from God, it was almost over whelming. He was telling me not to do it. I was so scared and too embarrassed to turn around or stop the ceremony so I went through with it. The next morning after we got married I laid in bed and cried. Not long after we got married I did get pregnant and nine months later had a wonderful baby boy. After the birth of my son when he was about ten months old a deep depression came over me and I was so unhappy. I don’t think my husband loved me anymore than I loved him. I don’t know what we were doing together. I finally called my father and ask him if I could come home. He said yes so I went to my husband and told him I was not happy and I wanted to move home. He acted relieved. When I was moving my stuff out of the house my husband left to go to the lake and party with is friends. That first night I was so upset. I didn’t know if I had made the right decision.The next morining my sister in law called me and told me that my husband had brought a girl home from the lake and had spent the night with her and had sex with her. She said my mother in law had kicked her out of the house that morning. After that I decided to file for a divorce. So we divorced. I didn’t date anyone for a while. Then one night My first boyfriend was on leave from the military and I passed him on the street. We stopped and talked. He was nice but very distant. We said our goodbyes after about ten minutes and I went back to my parents house and went to bed. While in bed I started to weep uncontrollably. All the feelings that I had for him came rushing back. I started talking to God. And was crying over this man. I feel like God comforted me in an instant. My crying went away and I was filled with joy. I felt like God told me that we would be together again. You just can’t imagine the instant peace I felt. It felt super natural. I feel like most people probably think yeah whatever when I tell them that and that maybe they think that it’s just something I want to believe but when you experience God’s peace like that it is unmistakable. Anyway after that I decided that I would just not date anyone and wait. My first boyfried was still in the Air Force and was overseas. After a short while My first boyfriends grandpa came into my mom and dad’s store and told my mom that my first boyfriend (I call him that so I don’t have to use his name) had met a little blue eyed blonde headed German girl and was getting married. Of course my mom told me this and I was devastated!! So I thought well maybe I was wrong about what God had told me. So I then unfortunately started dating and going out with friends and drinking some on the weekends and leaving my son with my sister to babysit on the weekend. I had some relationships during that time that were sexual with the first time of having sex being because I was drinking. Oh what a mess I made. I finally was dating this guy that I had no feelings for at all and I knew he was just using me for sex. One night the father of my son called or maybe I had called him I can’t remember, he was living out of state at the time. I had thought about it and thought well if I’m not going to find someone I truely love I might as well try to make it work with the father of my child. So when I talked to him that night I told him if he would come home I would remarry him even though at the time he was engaged to someone else. He left her and came home. I thought maybe since we were a little older that we might could make it work. Well the second time was worse than the first time. He was more violent and had been doing heavy drugs while we were separated. Needless to say it lasted about four months. About the last couple of weeks that we were together my first boyfriend out of the blue had called a friend of mine and ask her to call me and see if I would meet with him that he needed to talk to me. This was the first time I had heard anything from him since I had seen him that night. It had been a little over two years. I did meet with him and I think he had kind of made up an excuse to see me. He had come home from being over seas and was not married and was stationed about three hours away from home. about two weeks after I seen him my marriage came to an end. Ending with a big fight and my husband going to jail. He called me from jail wanting my dad to bail him out. My dad of course said no. I told him when he got out of jail he needed to come and get his stuff because I was divorcing him again. We had lived with my sister the whole time we were back together because he would not work. I was working in a factory but could not support us on my own. Not long after that I started seeing my first boyfriend and we moved in together and then married in 1990. This December we will have been married for 24 years and I love him with all my heart. We have two children together that are now grown. My children are 27, 23 and 18 years old. The oldest of course being from my first husband. I have over the years followed in my dad’s foot steps by not staying steady in a church, however I have been involved in church a little more than my dad was. Me and my husband have never drank alcohol. My kids other than not being in church every Sunday have lived a very low key calm childhood unlike mine. Me and my husband have had a great relationship, he matured a lot being in the military and didn’t have the jealousy issues he had once had. However early in our relationship he did through my mistakes up at me quit a bit. He does not do that at all now and our love has grown deeper with each passing year. I have so many regrets in my life not just with love but with many other things. I have not walked in jesus’s foot steps or even attemped to for many years. Seems that everytime I try to get closer to God the enemy attacks me with my passed mistakes. Here I am 46 years and ten months old and deperatley want that close relationship with God. I felt like he has been telling me to read his word and that is how i would get closer to him. I have a deep desire for my children to have their salvation. I pray for it. They were all baptised when they were kids. My oldest son has grown a very strong relationship with God. He also has made a lot of mistakes. My two other children are just living life. They seem happy and I know they are believers but they are not studying the word. I Pray to God in Jesus name that he forgives me my sins! I don’t want to go to hell or don’t want to cause my sweet husband to go to hell. I am my husband’s first wife which I’m sure you figured that much but he has had other sexually relationships besides me. I’m so sorry this letter is so long but I wanted you to know my past somewhat to know where I was coming from. Do you think God forgives me? I know that I am by far not worthy of anything without the blood of Christ being shed for me. But I worry that God may not honor my marriage since I have messed up so bad. But the husband I have now was my first and only love and first intimate partner. If you can please email me back using the email below.

  19. tammy says:

    I need to speak to someone please
    !!! I am a Christian but about to marry a man that was divorced. We both Christians nowand bbecause of our situation drew closer to God. I love God and want to go to heaven. I cry every day because I love God and wish I was not in this situation.

  20. Christine says:

    HI Tammy, was the man you want to marry a born again believer when he got divorced? If not, then he was not enlightened to the truth of how God views divorce. If he has repented for past mistakes (which I’m sure he has, seeing as he is now serving God and a Christian), then there should be no hesitation in getting married. If you both serve God as you mentioned then Godly pre-marriage counsel is all you need :) The divorce issue is applied to two born again believers who get divorced, so in your case this seems to not apply. Of course, I am not aware of the background of your man so cant comment on his past life and possible current obligations to any other parties. But, God forgives those who were once in the dark and are now in the light. The covenant of marriage is seen highly by God, between two born again believers, as this is done with the intention of including God in their lives. If a couple isn’t saved and get married, and die, they will not enter heaven anyway so why would they care about divorce etc. and heaven. So that being said, if two born again believers get married and later divorce, then there is accountability to God for this as they are in covenant with Him. If your man was saved before he got divorced and it wasn’t due to his ex-wife being an adulterer then he is not permitted to marry, according to he bible. But I assume he wasn’t saved when he got divorced. Hope this makes sense.

  21. Joy says:

    It does not matter whether a divorced person was a believer or not at the time of their divorce. Every human being’s first (neither spouse has ever been married to anyone else before), marriage (whether they know God or not) is valid until death. God honours unbelievers’ marriages as well as the marriages of believers. The Scripture clearly uses the word Whosoever, when it speaks about marriage, divorce and marrying another, the latter which Jesus calls adultery.

    The divorce issue is applied to two born again believers who get divorced, so in your case this seems to not apply. No, this is wrong advice. The divorce and remarriage issue is applicable to everyone (whosoever) on earth. Only follow the commands of Jesus, not the commands of men.

  22. sharous says:

    I am a divorcee and has been with someone for 9 years who wants to marry me but I read from the Bible that I can’t.
    Because of this my life is is termoil.
    I love the Lord with all my heart and willing to give it all up. But the pain is do great. Help me what do I do. My pastor and everyone else says if I do remarry I will not see God’s face.

  23. Violette says:

    I became born again at the age of 11 at Bible Camp, but grew up in a household where my Christianity was not shared by either of my parents till my Mom got saved some years later. I went to church till I was in high school then stopped but I always believed though I didnt practice closely. After college I married a man I loved and he knew I was a Christian and he sort of believed but not the same as myself. He would attend church with me at Christmas and Easter so I assumed that we were on the right path and it was only a matter of time before we would have a “real” Christian marriage….I was wrong. 7 years into our marriage he was unfaithful and unrepentant. I stayed for 7 more years but he would not get counseling and our relationship went completely downhill. I initiated the divorce because he continued to be unfaithful to me. A few years later I met a man whose wife had done the same exact thing to him. He was raised in a Christian home, but he fell in love with a woman who though she had been raised in a church setting was not a believer and she had affairs while he was at work and became pregnant with the child of one of those affairs and tried to pass the child off as his child…but he had a paternity test done (because he had had a vasectomy just before she became pregnant) and it was determined from that that she had been unfaithful and the child was not his. And so he left her but continued to see his children and support them. The man who got her pregnant in the affair then married her but eventually they divorced and she is now with another man.
    This man and I met and fell in love and the first thing we discussed as we were dating was the importance of the Lord in marriage. It was at the top of our list for things that we both wanted in our spouse and since both of our former spouses had been unfaithful to us we felt that it was okay for us to remarry. We have a great marriage and we are both believers and it is so wonderful to be able to go to church together and to pray together . We also pray for our former spouses and his children that they will all come to know Christ, but for us we feel that God gave us a second chance because we believe he IS the God of second chances.
    I have read some things online and in books that some people consider us total sinners and adulterers for taking divorcing our first spouses, but I choose to believe in a loving God that
    sees us as we are, and loves us anyway. We are indeed made new in Christ and I believe all He wants from us is relationship…and even in divorce which is was not His ideal plan, we can still be made “new” and go on in right relationship with him.

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