Feeling trapped in marriage?


There can’t be much worse than feeling trapped in a marriage.  Yet some Christian marriages feel like a trap to one or both of husband or wife. The husband whose wife is demanding or bossy would love to escape to freedom of the roof (Prov 21:9). The wife whose husband never thinks of her, spends all the hours God sends at work, church, playing sport or pursuing his hobby, ignoring his wife while she is left at home with the kids (contra Col 3:19).

In Colossians Paul reminds the believers that they can always fulfil their God given role to the glory of God even when that role feels like a cage. If you are married and are feeling trapped then remember that you are still to do what you were made by God to do for his glory.  You can’t change what your spouse does but you are responsible for what you do.

Colossians 3:18-19 Wives, submit to your husbands, as is fitting in the Lord. Husbands, love your wives and do not be harsh with them.

Paul does not burden Christians with unbearable loads. He points to his own situation as an example of fulfilling God given roles in spite of being trapped. Paul, the apostle to the Gentiles, was locked up in jail and he did not ask the Colossians to pray for his release. He asked them to pray that he would fulfil his role of proclaiming Christ clearly, that a door would open for the gospel, the mystery of Christ (Col 4:2).  In the same passage Paul also addresses the parent trap for those who feel caged in by the responsibility of raising children in the Lord and the employment trap for employee and employer.

Trapped husbands, pray that God will open a door for the gospel to renew you and your wife to the glory of God. Trapped wives, pray for the same door to open, not to fly away, but to make Christ known in his glory.

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