Tim Sisemore – The disillusioned family

World Proof Your Kids

More notes from Tim Sisemore’s excellent book “World-Proof Your Kids

Disillusioned family

The Parenting pattern, goal or ideal of this family:
Parents aim to give their children what they want or feel they need, the idea is to make the kids feel good about themselves and about life, so that they function well in life.
The parents hope that these patterns of feeling good and behaving well will continue for the rest of their children’s life.

What does this look like in practice?
get them into a good school
provide for their material comfort, including all the latest gadgets
develop their wider interests by encouraging them to do sport, music or art
try to make sure they have suitable friends
take them to church, to give them a bit of religion, structure
talk to them about what is right and wrong, the importance of a good eduction, getting a good job, avoiding sex at a young age, not getting drunk, that sort of thing

Why does this family become Disillusioned?

Well, the ideals of these parents often fail to materialise both for them and their children.
When a child does not turn out the way a parent had hoped for and worked towards, the disillusioned parent will ask:
“Why does he act that way, we’ve done everything for him?”
The child can often be quite driven to live up to parental expectation, but can get frustrated at not being able to achieve the level of self actualisation, material comfort or success in life, including marital success, as marriage often fails to gratify them.

What’s the problem?
children brought up this way believe life is about their own gratification, about doing things which please them and make them feel good.
As they live for their own entertainment, they will be unwilling to put themselves out for the sake of others, and the God who put himself out by dying on the cross for their salvation simply looks foolish.

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