Does God expect a victim of abuse to forgive their abuser?

I’ve just watched Mez McConnell talk with Andy Constable, Graham Thompson, and Ian Williamson about the difficult topic of abuse and forgiveness. I want to share it on my blog for some important reasons. If you have suffered abuse of any kind, or are/have been abusive, or if you have had a bust up, and are struggling to know what God expects you to do, this conversation will help you understand the difficulty of that walk.

It’s worth listening to four men who love Jesus and love each other speak about God and a something which has a huge personal impact on at least one of them. The conversation is not detached from the reality of the lives of these men. It is about God and about them. Does God expect ME to forgive MY abuser?

This conversation is realistic about the difficulty of forgiveness. These men have spent years studying the bible, thinking, applying the word of the life to their own lives whilst pastoring others. At least one is an abuse survivor and one was an angry man. They continue to wrestle with what it means to forgive and say some really helpful stuff here. This is one of the deepest and most difficult issues of the human heart.

This conversation is realistic about the long path to forgiveness. The memories, thoughts and feelings are deep and complex. The conversation makes that clear but it also gives some signposts and wise advice for us to head in the right direction.

Forgiveness is something I have been wrestling with personally and with people close to me. It is a great help to listen to others who are on that path, to learn from and to weep with the abused. You might not want to watch this video if you are experiencing the trauma of abuse. If that’s you, and you are local, come and speak with me.

About neilrobbie

I am a 6'6" formerly ginger Scot, in a cross cultural marriage to my lovely Londoner wife. We've lived in SE Asia and since 2005, I have served as an Anglican minister in Wolverhampton and West Bromwich.
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